Or, here in Spain they ask it, "¿Que tal?," or "¿Como estás?". (Can you tell I'm enjoying using the upside down question mark?)
The answer is usually fairly easy. It is both convenient and conversationally correct to answer 'fine', or 'good.' That greases the speed of conversation and allows us to move on to more important matters, such as the weather, recent sports scores, or our children's latest bodily excretions. Even in Spanish the answer is fairly simple, even for those of us who are struggling to learn the language. A simple 'bien,' or more complicated 'estoy bien' will do. It's really great to follow that up with "¿y tú?" That then puts the conversational ball squarely back into the other person's court without having to explain yourself any further.
I've been thinking a bit more lately about how things really are, partly thanks to a book by Larry Crabb called "Inside Out". I may post more on that later, but one of the big themes that stuck with me from the book was his challenge to Christians to live honestly, and to seek that honesty to the point it thoroughly disrupts our complacency. It gave me the idea to blog about how things are really going for me, and for the Walter clan in La Coruña. I'll address a few common questions, give the standard safe answer, and then follow with a more transparent answer.
How are things in Spain? Good. Great. We love being here. We are as confident as ever that we are here solely because of God's leading in our lives. We have a great community in our local church, Vida Nueva, and have been enjoying discovering more about the people, place, and culture here.
Really? It has been a fun, but difficult (at times) transition. We feel we've come through the first stages of the transition pretty well, but it was quite a tough road at times. The kids seem to have adjusted pretty well by this point. Communication has been tough at times, obviously, as we did not speak Spanish when we arrived. We learned to drive stick shift and how to drive in a different country at the same time - with three kids 4 and under crammed in the back seat. We feel pressure to focus on our language studies as our number-one priority, but also feel pressure to figure out how to become more and more involved in our local supporting church. Plus we are learning to live in a completely different culture, and learning little by little to adopt to different ways of living. Our running joke here is that everything takes longer to get done here than you think it will. The way things are done hear are different enough to often leave us wondering why on earth they do things this way. All of this is in addition to the pressures of making sure we are caring for our kids in the best way possible, which is not always that easy, as I hope most parents can attest to. Plus, the real bummer about being here in Spain is that we missed the Super Bowl this year! On the whole, it's great to be here, we really do enjoy it. But we do miss some things from 'home', and are baffled by some things here. How is language school going? It is good. I know more Spanish today than I did 5 months ago! But seriously, it is a challenge for me, but it's good to be able to communicate better, and I just keep on keepin' on to continue growing in my communication skills.
Really? It's hard for me. This is the thing I worry about more than anything here. Partly because it feels like so much of our success here relies on our ability to learn to communicate. Partly because I've had no success in my past at learning languages. Languages consistently were low spots in my academic career. But mostly, I go to class, and struggle to understand the teacher anytime she veers off of the textbook to explain things. It feels like I am learning at a glacial pace when I look around and see many others who learn quickly (classmates, family members, etc). I definitely feel like I'm learning stuff, but it does not seem to happen fast enough. I'm fairly certain I'm in the bottom of my class. I have no choice but to succeed in what might be the biggest challenge I've faced in my life.
How are the hostel plans? Things are going well. We still have a ways to go to get our plan off the ground. First things first, we have to learn the language! We are excited to have a great teammate, and have another couple who is interested in joining us that we are excited about.
Really? Things really are going pretty well. But I think we often feel as if other people's expectations are that we might already be running a hostel, or be doing it very soon. We have a pretty clear idea of where we think we are heading, but we are prepared for the journey to take some time. We want to do it right the first time, and set ourselves up to see the best possible chance of long-term success. The truth of the matter is that we are here because we feel a pretty clear leading from the Lord that He wants us here. We see that in order for this hostel to become a reality, God will continue to guide, and will have to 'show up' in such a way that any hostel and/or backpacker ministry that results will clearly be of his doing, and not our own. And we continue to hold 'our' plans loosely, aware that what we think is our direction will change if he guides us in another direction (for example, living now in La Coruña instead of Santiago). After I learn the language, opening a successful hostel and ministry might be the next "biggest challenge" I've had to face in my life. Despite all of our planning and dreaming, there are parts of me that have trouble imagining seeing that vision become a reality. But then, I also know it was not that long ago that parts of me that had trouble seeing us moving to Spain, and here we are!
How are the kids? They are great. The boys are adjusting to school. Both boys seem to like being in school. Kathryn is a great baby. Very quiet and well behaved. We had a lot of illness over the first several months here, but we seem to have come clear of that.
Really? Yeah - for the most part, this one is pretty accurate. What we generally don't talk about though are the temper tantrums and fits that each of the boys seem to have seemingly too often. They are happening with less frequency than when we first arrived, but still seemingly too often. We also don't talk too much about the times we are woken up at night--by all three of the kids, not just the baby. But mostly because any parent can talk about that too - there's not much sympathy to be found out there for something so common : - ) We also don't talk as often about our concerns for the kids - how their personalities will adjust to being here. How will Brennan's gentle and quiet spirit adjust in a place where he clearly is an outsider? How will all of the kids respond to growing up in a place where some of the general cultural values are not all that similar to our own?
So, in the end, there is truth in the simple, pat answers. But it is often a simple truth, unencumbered by the more difficult realities of daily life.
